Serving Others—Even When They Are Our Enemies

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink.” — Romans 12:20

Serving people we love is often a joy. When a family member needs help, a friend needs encouragement, or a fellow believer needs prayer, we may respond without hesitation. Serving becomes much more difficult, however, when the person in need has offended, mistreated, rejected, or opposed us.

Romans 12:20 confronts this difficulty directly. The apostle Paul does not merely tell Christians to tolerate their enemies or refrain from retaliating against them. He calls believers to take positive action for their good:

“But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink” (Romans 12:20).

This command reveals one of the most challenging characteristics of Christian service: our willingness to serve others must not depend entirely upon how they treat us. Followers of Jesus are called to demonstrate God’s love to friends, strangers, neighbors, and even enemies.

The Context of Romans 12:20

Romans 12 describes what a life transformed by the grace of God should look like. Paul begins by urging believers to present themselves to God as living sacrifices and to be transformed through the renewing of their minds (Romans 12:1–2). He then explains how this transformation affects humility, spiritual gifts, relationships, generosity, hospitality, perseverance, and love.

The commands near the end of the chapter are especially demanding:

• “Bless those who persecute you” (Romans 12:14).
• “Never repay evil for evil to anyone” (Romans 12:17).
• “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people” (Romans 12:18).
• “Never take your own revenge” (Romans 12:19).
• Feed your enemy when he is hungry and give him something to drink when he is thirsty (Romans 12:20).
• “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21).

Paul’s teaching moves beyond passive restraint. Christians are not only commanded to refuse revenge; they are commanded to respond to evil with good. We are to look for appropriate opportunities to meet the genuine needs of others—even when those people consider themselves our enemies.

Serving Others Reflects the Character of God

Our service to others begins with God’s grace toward us. We were not reconciled to God because we had earned His kindness. According to Romans 5:8, God demonstrated His love toward us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:10 goes even further, explaining that we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son while we were His enemies.

This truth should profoundly influence how we treat other people. God did not wait for us to become deserving before extending mercy to us. He acted in love while we were still in rebellion against Him.

When we serve someone who has treated us poorly, we reflect something of this divine mercy. We are not claiming that the person’s behavior was acceptable, nor are we pretending that evil is unimportant. Instead, we are demonstrating that God’s love is greater than our natural desire for retaliation.

Jesus explained this principle in Matthew 5:44–45. He instructed His followers to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them. He then pointed to the Father, who causes the sun to rise and the rain to fall upon both the evil and the good. God’s common grace is not restricted only to those who acknowledge or appreciate Him.

As God’s children, we are called to display the family resemblance of our heavenly Father.

Christian Service Is Not Based on Worthiness

Human beings often decide whom to serve by asking whether a person deserves assistance. We may willingly help someone who is grateful, respectful, and kind. However, we may withdraw compassion from someone who has been rude, ungrateful, or hostile.

Romans 12:20 challenges this kind of selective service. If an enemy is hungry, the immediate question is not whether that person deserves food. The question is whether we have an opportunity to respond to a real need in a way that honors God.

Jesus taught the same principle in Luke 6:32–36. He explained that loving only those who love us does not distinguish His followers from the rest of the world. Even people who do not follow God commonly show kindness to those who treat them well. Christian love becomes particularly visible when it is extended to those from whom we expect nothing in return.

Jesus concluded this teaching by commanding His disciples to be merciful, just as their Father is merciful. Therefore, we serve others not because every person has treated us well, but because God has treated us mercifully.

The Example of the Good Samaritan

The parable of the Good Samaritan provides a powerful picture of service that crosses social and relational boundaries. In Luke 10:25–37, Jesus told of a man who was attacked by robbers, beaten, and left half dead. A priest and a Levite saw the wounded man but passed by without helping him.

A Samaritan eventually came upon him. The relationship between Jews and Samaritans was marked by deep hostility and prejudice, yet the Samaritan did not allow those divisions to excuse indifference. He treated the injured man’s wounds, placed him on his own animal, took him to an inn, cared for him, and paid for his continued recovery.

The Samaritan served someone who might ordinarily have regarded him with suspicion or contempt. He did not ask whether the wounded man belonged to the right group or held the right opinion of Samaritans. He saw a person in need and acted with compassion.

Jesus ended the parable by telling His listener, “Go and do the same” (Luke 10:37).

Our neighbor is not merely the person who agrees with us, worships with us, votes like us, or treats us kindly. Our neighbor is also the person God places before us with a need we are able to address.

Feeding an Enemy Is an Act of Faith

Serving an enemy requires faith because it means surrendering our desire to control the outcome. We might hope that kindness will produce immediate repentance, reconciliation, or gratitude. Sometimes it does. At other times, the person may remain hostile.

Our responsibility is obedience; the results belong to God.

Romans 12:19 tells believers not to take revenge but to leave room for the judgment of God. This does not mean that evil will never be addressed. It means that personal vengeance does not belong to us. God is perfectly just, and He is able to judge every action rightly.

When we refuse revenge and choose service, we are declaring that we trust God with justice. We do not have to punish every offense personally. We are free to act according to God’s character because we believe He sees what has happened and will do what is right.

First Peter 2:21–23 points to Jesus as our supreme example. When He was insulted, He did not return insult for insult. When He suffered, He did not make threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to the One who judges righteously.

Serving an enemy is not weakness. It is an expression of faith in God’s authority.

Overcoming Evil With Good

Romans 12:21 summarizes the entire passage: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Evil attempts to reproduce itself. One person speaks cruelly, so another responds with cruelty. One person spreads gossip, so the injured person begins spreading accusations in return. One person acts dishonestly, and the victim decides that dishonesty is now justified.

In this way, the original wrong multiplies.

Paul teaches that believers must not allow another person’s sin to determine their character. When we respond to hatred with hatred, we have been overcome by evil. When we answer evil with goodness, however, we interrupt its destructive cycle.

This does not mean that kindness will always change an enemy’s behavior. It does mean that, by God’s grace, the enemy’s behavior does not have to change ours. We remain committed to truth, mercy, holiness, and love regardless of what another person chooses to do.

What Are the “Burning Coals”?

Romans 12:20 concludes by saying that in serving an enemy, we will “heap burning coals on his head.” Paul is quoting Proverbs 25:21–22.

This expression has been interpreted in different ways. It may describe the shame or conviction a person experiences when unexpected kindness exposes the wrongness of his actions. It may also point to God’s righteous judgment. Whatever the precise imagery means, the passage does not give Christians permission to perform kind acts with a secret desire to hurt or humiliate someone.

If we serve an enemy merely because we hope our kindness will make that person miserable, our outward action may appear loving while our heart remains controlled by revenge.

Christian service should seek another person’s genuine good. First Corinthians 13:5 teaches that love does not keep a record of wrongs, and 1 Corinthians 13:6 says love does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. Biblical love does not celebrate evil, but neither does it secretly delight in another person’s suffering.

Our desire should be that God uses our kindness to bring conviction, repentance, reconciliation, and restoration.

Serving an Enemy Does Not Mean Ignoring Wisdom

The command to love and serve enemies does not require us to remain in abusive or dangerous situations. Scripture does not teach that establishing boundaries, reporting criminal conduct, or seeking lawful protection is sinful.

Paul sometimes escaped from those who intended to harm him. In Acts 9:23–25, believers helped him leave Damascus by lowering him in a basket through an opening in the wall. In Acts 22:25, Paul appealed to his legal rights as a Roman citizen. Jesus also withdrew from people who intended to kill Him before the appointed time (John 8:59).

We can forgive someone without immediately restoring the same level of trust. Forgiveness may be offered freely, but trust is ordinarily rebuilt through repentance, truthfulness, and consistent behavior. Reconciliation involves the participation of both parties, which helps explain Paul’s careful wording in Romans 12:18: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.”

We should do what depends upon us. We should reject hatred, pray for the offender, remain open to God’s direction, and refuse personal revenge. At the same time, love may require boundaries, accountability, or intervention to prevent further harm.

Serving an enemy means seeking that person’s true good. It does not mean helping the person continue in destructive behavior.

Practical Ways to Serve Others

The principle of Romans 12:20 can be practiced in ordinary situations. We may not have someone we would formally describe as an enemy, but most of us know people who are difficult, critical, unfriendly, or unfair.

Here are several ways we can serve them:

Pray for them

Jesus specifically commanded His followers to pray for those who persecute them (Matthew 5:44). Prayer changes our focus. It becomes difficult to nurture hatred toward someone while sincerely asking God to bring truth, mercy, healing, and repentance into that person’s life.

Meet legitimate needs

If someone who has mistreated us experiences a genuine need, we can prayerfully consider how to help. This might involve providing a meal, offering transportation, assisting during an emergency, sharing useful information, or connecting the person with appropriate support.

Galatians 6:10 instructs believers to do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the household of faith. The words “all people” prevent us from limiting kindness only to our closest relationships.

Speak with grace

Serving others includes how we speak about them. Ephesians 4:29 teaches that our words should build others up according to their needs and give grace to those who hear. We should not use another person’s wrongdoing as permission to gossip, slander, or destroy that person’s reputation.

We may need to tell the truth about an offense, especially when safety or accountability is involved. Nevertheless, truth can be spoken without malice or exaggeration.

Refuse to celebrate their failures

An enemy’s misfortune may tempt us to feel satisfied. Proverbs 24:17 warns us not to rejoice when an enemy falls. Compassion should not disappear simply because the suffering person once caused us pain.

Forgive as God has forgiven us

Ephesians 4:31–32 tells believers to put away bitterness, anger, and malice and to forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven them. Forgiveness does not call evil good. It releases our claim to personal vengeance and places justice in God’s hands.

Serve without demanding recognition

Some acts of service will never be acknowledged. The recipient may not apologize, express gratitude, or even recognize the sacrifice involved. Colossians 3:23–24 reminds believers to do their work heartily as service to the Lord. Ultimately, we serve others because we are serving Christ.

Serving Christ by Serving People

Jesus closely identifies Himself with those who are hungry, thirsty, lonely, poorly clothed, sick, or imprisoned. In Matthew 25:35–40, He explains that service rendered to “one of the least” is service rendered to Him.

This truth gives dignity to every act of compassion. A meal, a cup of water, a visit, a prayer, or a practical gift may appear small, but when offered in faith and love, it becomes an act of worship.

Hebrews 6:10 assures believers that God is not unjust and will not forget their work and the love they have shown toward His name by serving His people. Human beings may overlook faithful service, but God does not.

Love Is the Mark of Christ’s Disciples

Jesus said that His disciples would be recognized by their love for one another (John 13:34–35). While this command especially concerns the Christian community, the love of Christ cannot remain confined within the walls of the church.

The gospel sends us into a divided and hostile world as representatives of Jesus. Second Corinthians 5:20 calls believers ambassadors for Christ. An ambassador represents the character and interests of the one who sent him. Therefore, our conduct should point others toward the mercy, holiness, patience, and truth of Christ.

When Christians serve only those who agree with them, their conduct looks ordinary. When they serve people who have offended or opposed them, the transforming power of the gospel becomes visible.

Christ Is Our Perfect Example

No one has demonstrated enemy-love more completely than Jesus Christ. He healed, taught, fed, and served people who misunderstood Him. He washed the feet of His disciples, including Judas, who would betray Him (John 13:1–11). While suffering on the cross, Jesus prayed for those responsible for His crucifixion (Luke 23:34).

Most importantly, Jesus gave His life for sinners. He did not merely provide temporary relief from hunger or thirst. He offered Himself so that His enemies could be forgiven, reconciled to God, and given eternal life.

Philippians 2:3–8 calls believers to adopt the humble attitude of Christ, who took the form of a servant and became obedient to the point of death on a cross. Christian service is therefore not simply a collection of good deeds. It is the life of Christ being expressed through people who have been transformed by His grace.

A Final Challenge

Romans 12:20 calls us to examine whether our kindness depends upon the behavior of others. Are we generous only toward those who appreciate us? Do we serve only people who can repay us? Do we allow resentment to excuse indifference?

God may place someone before us who is difficult to love. That person may be a hostile coworker, an estranged relative, an unkind neighbor, a former friend, or someone who has publicly opposed us. We should ask God for wisdom about what loving service looks like in that situation.

Perhaps it means praying instead of complaining. Perhaps it means meeting a practical need without expecting anything in return. Perhaps it means speaking graciously when others are speaking harshly. Perhaps it means establishing a wise boundary while refusing to become bitter. Perhaps it means offering forgiveness and leaving the door open for genuine reconciliation.

Whatever form it takes, our service should be guided by the final command of Romans 12: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

We do not serve others because everyone deserves our trust or approval. We serve because Jesus is our Lord. We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). We show mercy because we have received mercy. We refuse revenge because judgment belongs to God. We do good to friends and enemies alike because every person bears God’s image and because our lives are meant to display the transforming power of the gospel.

When our enemy is hungry, we feed him. When our enemy is thirsty, we give him a drink. When others wound us, we entrust justice to God and continue walking in obedience. In doing so, we demonstrate that evil does not have the final word. Through the grace of God, evil can be overcome with good.